Character, not Fleece

So many times I have looked back over the overwhelming number of decisions I have made: decisions I have made on my own, those Dean and I have made for our lives together,  and with great anxiety, the decisions we made with the notion of nurturing and directing our kids. I have asked for God's guidance in the small and always in the large decisions and sometimes I have sadly neglected to ask God for guidance at all. By 'ask God for guidance' I mean I say something like "Please Lord, give me wisdom and direction in this decision" all the while hoping He will put the unequivocal answer in front of me, not wisdom and direction so much as a text message with a photograph, an email with an excel sheet attached, sky writing with a web address. In more traditional and perhaps antiquated terms I really want God to send me a letter with instructions or to write on the wall (it's happened before - see Daniel chapter 5). I've even been tempted to purchase a fleece from Amazon and wait for dew (see Gideon in Judges 6).

My way would lead to a life where God told me the exact right thing to do at the exact right moment and I and my family would then avoid all the sorrows that come from the wrong or not "perfect" decision; but that is not God's way. I read this today and it explained clearly why His ways are higher than my ways especially with regard to decision making:

"The development of character must be the primary purpose of the Father. He will guide us, but he won't override us. That fact should make us use with caution the method of sitting down with a pencil and a blank sheet of paper to write down the instructions dictated by God. Suppose a parent would dictate to the child everything he is to do during the day. The child would be stunted. The parent must guide in such a manner that character, capable of making right decisions for itself, is produced. God does the same."  E. Stanley Jones in Victorious Living

Regrets and "What ifs" are powerful means of entrapment. For those of us in the Body of Christ bad decisions and past mistakes are opportunities for God to shape our character. If we did not take that opportunity at the time we can do it now. Through the power of Christ we can change and grow and be shaped by the good as well as the not-so-good. I will continue to ask God to give me wisdom and guidance but I can trust Him to use my choices good and bad to make me more like Christ. Even so, I would be delighted to find a dew covered fleece on the back porch.