Not Even One

"Lord, if you kept a record of our sins,

 Who, O Lord, could ever survive?

But you offer forgiveness, 

That we might learn to fear you"

Psalm 130:3,4

At this particular time I have in my circle of friends many who are very ill. Some with cancer, one with diabetes, one recovery from a terrible car accident and others. I call upon God regularly to ask for healing for all I know who are suffering.

Recently, another person with an illness, came to my attention. Let's call her Amanda. Because of several disturbing encounters with Amanda I was struggling to pray for her in a sincere way. I quietly asked God to change my heart. Immediately (and it doesn't always happen this way) I believe God gave me a picture of Amanda's behaviors and failures and a realization that it was an outward depiction of my inner, hidden, secret sins; those of thought, attitude and motive. My carefully hidden sins are no less offensive to God. When exposed they are no less offensive even to me. I lacked compassion for Amanda because she hadn't been able to pull off the righteous facade. The vivid picture of my sins superimposed on Amanda's outward behavior broke my heart.

By giving me the picture of my own sin, I can have love and compassion for Amanda. And now I can confess my sins and call upon God for healing for Amanda and mercy for us all.

"No one is righteous-

not even one.

No one is truly wise;

no one is seeking god.

All have turned away;

all have become useless.

No one does good

 not a single one."

Romans 3:10-12 

(see Psalm 14 and 53)

Our hope is in Christ alone. With great rejoicing: "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6 (ESV)

Character, not Fleece

So many times I have looked back over the overwhelming number of decisions I have made: decisions I have made on my own, those Dean and I have made for our lives together,  and with great anxiety, the decisions we made with the notion of nurturing and directing our kids. I have asked for God's guidance in the small and always in the large decisions and sometimes I have sadly neglected to ask God for guidance at all. By 'ask God for guidance' I mean I say something like "Please Lord, give me wisdom and direction in this decision" all the while hoping He will put the unequivocal answer in front of me, not wisdom and direction so much as a text message with a photograph, an email with an excel sheet attached, sky writing with a web address. In more traditional and perhaps antiquated terms I really want God to send me a letter with instructions or to write on the wall (it's happened before - see Daniel chapter 5). I've even been tempted to purchase a fleece from Amazon and wait for dew (see Gideon in Judges 6).

My way would lead to a life where God told me the exact right thing to do at the exact right moment and I and my family would then avoid all the sorrows that come from the wrong or not "perfect" decision; but that is not God's way. I read this today and it explained clearly why His ways are higher than my ways especially with regard to decision making:

"The development of character must be the primary purpose of the Father. He will guide us, but he won't override us. That fact should make us use with caution the method of sitting down with a pencil and a blank sheet of paper to write down the instructions dictated by God. Suppose a parent would dictate to the child everything he is to do during the day. The child would be stunted. The parent must guide in such a manner that character, capable of making right decisions for itself, is produced. God does the same."  E. Stanley Jones in Victorious Living

Regrets and "What ifs" are powerful means of entrapment. For those of us in the Body of Christ bad decisions and past mistakes are opportunities for God to shape our character. If we did not take that opportunity at the time we can do it now. Through the power of Christ we can change and grow and be shaped by the good as well as the not-so-good. I will continue to ask God to give me wisdom and guidance but I can trust Him to use my choices good and bad to make me more like Christ. Even so, I would be delighted to find a dew covered fleece on the back porch.

Number There in Love was Slain

I heard something today that brought to mind once again the idea that God speaks to us even through unlikely sources; that truth will emerge even when it is unintended; God calls us, draws us to himself even through the words, paintings, inventions and machinations of those who do not know Him. I delight to find God's truth hidden in the secular!

A blogger, Jacob Prahlow, (http://jprahlow.blogspot.com/2013/04/cs-lewis-on-myth-and-fact.html )   writes about C. S. Lewis' view of myth:   

"If we are to agree with Lewis' historical account of myth, namely that God reveals Himself to all men through nature, stories, and myth itself, it seems to follow that even pagan philosophers may speak concerning the plan of God, if in some dimly lit way." This next paragraph is particularly delightful to me:

"Lewis wrote that "There is a real connection between what Plato and the myth-makers most deeply were and meant and what I believe to be the truth…One can, without any absurdity, imagine Plato or the myth-makers if they learned the truth, saying, 'I see… so that was what I was really talking about. Of course. That is what my words really meant, and I never knew it'"

The idea that someone would write something, something as mundane as a pop song and "stumble upon the truth" which would really be the hand of God at work and later, again through God's grace discover that they had written the truth without at the time knowing what it really meant is miraculous and encouraging.

John Ortberg writes in Living in Christ's Presence that he once quoted some lines from one of Shakespeare's works to his wife: 

So they loved, as love in twain

Had the essence but in one;

Two distincts, division none;

Number there in love was slain.

(the Phoenix and the Turtle)

Ortberg says that Shakespeare is saying that love in two parts had the essence of one. This reminds me of the verse "and two shall become one":

⁵ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? - Matthew 19:5

John Ortberg saw in Shakespeare's poetic verse the idea of the Trinity: "Number there in love was slain". They are three but one--and one infinitely richer, better, deeper, more joyful than it would be if not for the three."

There is a caution worth mentioning in finding truth in secular sources and C. S. Lewis speaks also to this:


“The books or the music in which we thought the beauty was located
will betray us if we trust to them; it was not in them, it only came through them,and what came through them was longing.
These things—the beauty, the memory of our own past—are good images of what we
really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself they turn into dumb idols,breaking the hearts of their worshippers.
For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited.” (The Weight of Glory)
  
The sad reality of secular creativity is that many people worship the creation and or the human creator and not the almighty and everlasting God, the ultimate creator. As we enjoy the various entertainments in the arts, media, and nature may we find the true flower, sing loudly the true tune, and visit the true country.



 

The Quiet Kelly

Recently I read two books about hiking. The first book was about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.The most recent, completed yesterday, was Bill Bryson's, A Walk in the Woods about hiking the Appalachian Trail. These were bookends of a sort, books about wilderness on opposite sides of our country. And in between those two books I read Wilderness Time by Emilie Griffin. Wilderness Time is not a book about hiking, it is about a different kind of Wilderness experience. This from the back cover of the book: "Time in 'the wilderness'-solitary meditation on simplicity, prayer, and other key disciplines of faith- is directly in keeping with Jesus' example of going apart to pray."

Each of the hiking books included that element of going away in order find something, and while each hiker found something to me they missed the big picture. They explored in minute detail every inch of the rugged, sometimes almost impassable trails they hiked without ever meeting the Creator of those trails.

In our every day lives we too often fail to meet the Creator. Wilderness Time is about making a space in your life that allows you to hear God without the competing noise of technology, busyness and day to day responsibilities.

Griffin points us to Jesus as our example for drawing away to be with God. In Mark 1:35-37: In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed." In Mark 6:45-46: Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After saying farewell to them, he went up onto the mountain to pray."  This occurred after He had fed the 5000.

Again in Luke 5:15-16: "But now more than ever the word about Jesus spread abroad; many crowds would gather to hear him and be cured of their diseases. But he would withdraw to deserted places and pray".

Some may wonder why a specific time away is needed or if there must be a specific reason for the retreat. Griffin responds: "In fact, no more reason is needed that that your heart longs for greater closeness with God- because you are worn out by many annoyances and worries, and you are seeking the refreshment of God's presence; because you need rest from the anxieties of ordinary living, even from the legitimate responsibilities imposed by family, work, and church; because you want to follow the example of Jesus in going apart to pray."

I could so easily relate to Griffin's revelation that "certain ingrained attitudes affect us inwardly. Such negative patterns of thought and feeling may defeat us again and again". While the world, or maybe it's better to say THE WORLD often gets me down what most discourages me are the perpetual habits and personality disasters that plague my life despite my best efforts to change them. Griffin says: "We need to invite the power of God to transform us and release us from unhealthy, limiting habits...Going on retreat is really a kind of self-gift, showing the willingness to be healed and transformed. This attitude of desire for the life of God for greater depth of understanding and abundance of heart, is pivotal to the healing of personality."

Griffin discusses several disciplines that help us connect with God on retreat: prayer, fasting, meditation, and study. One thing to note is that fasting does not have be about food. "Fasting from people, from excessive talk and jabber, from an overload of local and world news, from addictive telephone calls: all these are forms of fasting that can heal and restore our souls", writes Griffin.

Though there is discipline involved in retreat there is also serendipity and surrender. "While we ourselves may enter the retreat preoccupied with a given subject, The Lord may use the retreat to  lead us in another direction. We should be open to these promptings, remembering that we are not in charge of the retreat. Everything is in god's hands." Also, there should be no pressure to perform or achieve on the retreat: "Expectations should be neither low nor high, but instead, the work of the retreat should be left in God's hands." As in all of life, God is in control.

One favorite observation by Griffin concerns the definition of solitude: "Solitude is, after all, not a condition of being by youreself but a discipline of attentiveness to God."

I deliberately chose this book to read between the two hiking adventure books. Shortly Dean and I will embark on our own spiritual retreat. Coincidentally, if there is such a thing, I learned on Sunday that my pastor is taking a four week sabbatical that will include a Mount Fuji adventure. I think the extended time away and the experience and challenge of exploring Mt. Fuji will provide the perfect conditions for attentiveness to God. Our modest retreat will include 4 days at a quiet house and daily running on a new-to-us trail. I will take Griffin's book and her advice to keep my expectations neutral and to allow God to speak to us as He will, to say what He will and to lead where He will. Griffin says: "Fed by the sunlight of God's love, the soul works unselfconsciously toward wholeness. Spirit and soul, we flower in the light of God."  I want to flower.

 

Strayed and Still Lost

While reading Wild, From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail, written by Cheryl Strayed, I had that wonderful feeling of being in a different place. I enjoyed the "experience" of hiking the PCT! At one point in the book Strayed comments that she met someone who she liked very much but with whom she felt she would not have been friends had they met off the trail due to differences in world view. This was my experience with the author. I enjoyed the book and could relate to the hiking, the fears, and the pain. Even emotionally I felt I connected with the loss of her mother, with the bad father ghost, and with the lack of money, I never connected with her choices, even down to the decision to hike onto the PCT without reading the guide book all the way through, without talking to anyone who had ever hiked it, without figuring out if she could lift her overstocked, bulging backpack she eventually named "Monster". As a runner I would never have set off in a new pair of boots that I had not hiked in for a trek across the mountain ridges that stretch from Mexico to Canada.. She had hiked some in the past --how did she not know this?? The resulting blisters and excruciating pain that she writes about throughout much of the book could have been so easily avoided. Of course, I have to take precautions such as reading the guidebook, learning from others experience, testing my backpack and boots because there is no way I could have continued had my feet been in her condition and I know that I could not have hoisted and propelled Monster from one end of the trail to the other one step at a time no matter how much I wanted to.

There is one passage in the book that outraged me and it had to do with her dead mother's horse. I cannot even begin to describe the idiocy. I was once young and stupid but never in this horrendous way. There are consequences to just flying by the seat of your pants, to taking on responsibilities, luxuries and especially animals that you cannot afford to maintain or care for. I cried and felt betrayed by the author and it wasn't the first time. I wanted her to be a better person.

Strayed's trek along the trail was supposed to be a revelatory journey of self-discovery and for her I believe it was. I did not relate to many of the lessons she learned because I wasn't sure that she ever really saw what was right in front of her. I believe her Creator displayed before her His great beauty, His awesome power, and His gentle mercy and she never saw it.

Isaiah 6:3

New International Version (NIV)

³ And they were calling to one another:

“Holy, holy , holy is the Lord Almighty;
    the whole earth is full of his glory.” 

 AND:

Psalm 19^[a]

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

¹ The heavens declare the glory of God;
    the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
² Day after day they pour forth speech;
    night after night they reveal knowledge.
³ They have no speech, they use no words;
    no sound is heard from them.
⁴ Yet their voice^[b] goes out into all the earth,
    their words to the ends of the world.
In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun. 

The kindnesses she experience along the way she attributed to her gender and despite her grubbiness, her attractiveness. Fellow hikers called her Queen of the Trail. Her ability to push through the pain and to tough out all the bad times allowed her to "forgive" herself. It is a pitfall for those who have special abilities whether they relate to physical endurance, intelligence, charisma. If you feel you can be successful on your own, there is a danger you will believe you have no need for God and no need for His forgiveness.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the experience of the book, while cringing at some of the language and moral disasters.


Interestingly, the author chose her last name - 'Strayed'.

<sup>Proverbs 4:26-27 says:

26</sup> Give careful thought to the paths for your feet
    and be steadfast in all your ways.
²⁷ Do not turn to the right or the left;
    keep your foot from evil.

SMAShing Sermons: Remember

I really like my new project (Smashing Sermons). Using the Smash Book to record my sermon notes while reflecting on the meaning of the sermon has brought my attention to the word of God in a new and prolonged way that helps me really absorb what I have heard. I am reading a book by Dallas Willard called "Hearing God". I have just begun the book but already I see parallels in what I have begun to do with my Smashing Sermons and with "Hearing God".

To make the above Zentangle I painted black chalkboard paint onto the paper. Next I glued one of my origami crosses to the middle of the painted space.  I then used a white paint pen with a small point to create the Zentngles. This was so much fun. The effect of the white on black was fun to work with, it reminded me in a weird way of those velvet posters that can be colored with markers and also of black light posters from the 70s.

As I've mentioned before the Smash Book comes with some of the pages already printed with images. This is no problem with gluing things in because you can just glue things over the image - however if you are trying to embellish notes or add designs of your own it presents a challenge. This layout had a picture of a subway train station on the left hand page. I glued on a quote from the sermon: "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" from George Santayana, an American philosopher. I also glued on a verse from the sermon, Deuteronomy 8:2 "Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these 40 years". This was the Memorial Day sermon and the point was to not only remember the heroes of our military past who have sacrificed for the freedoms we enjoy today but to also remember what God has done for us. And not just the gift of His son and His sacrifice but all the specific big and little things of our own history that remind us of the never-ending provision and love of God.

 The title of the sermon was "Tie the String Around Your Finger, A Message from Deuteronomy 8". I printed a graphic from the internet of a finger with a string around it and I tied a cord around a toothpick and glued it to the hand of the drawing figure to reinforce the idea to REMEMBER.

 This layout included an Easter eggs image on the right hand page. Rather than try to compete with the busy pattern I typed a verse from the sermon onto white paper and pasted it in. The verse is  "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance of what we do not see, Hebrews 11:1. I also previously mentioned that the Smash notebooks have accessories that can be purchased separately. I purchased an accessory that allows you to add pages at any point in the notebook. The green striped strip at the center of the layout is an insert-able strip that is really two strips. The insides of the two strips have peel off tape that reveals the two sticky strips. You can insert any page between these strips and then press the strips together to hold the piece of paper in place. I used the strip to attach the sermon notes page from the church bulletin with my notes recorded on it. On the left is the cross and chalkboard paint with white paint pen. Underneath that is the image I cut from the front of the church bulletin. 

My favorite point from this sermon is that Faith Frees from the Bondage of Bitterness! Pastor Gerald mentioned that after he preaches people come up to him and say "you read my mail today" meaning they felt that the pastor or God was speaking directly to them about some specific issue they were having. He told us not to think that about this point. He said that EVERYONE struggles with bitterness.  I found that comforting because when things go wrong rather than be a tower of strength and stoic optimism I fall back on self-pity and bitterness. Not every time but often enough that it makes me sad that I must be so disappointing to God. He has provided the solution right there in His Word and must wonder why I can't get it. The verse Pastor Gerald used to illustrate this point was Genesis 50: 20-21, "You intended to harm me, but  God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.". This verse of course refers to Joseph following his time as a slave. His brothers sold him into slavery and after many years and many turns of events he held a position that allowed him to save a nation from starvation. Their meanness was used by God to help not only Joseph but many other people.

Can't we all benefit from that message? Whatever is going wrong, large or small, the world may mean it for evil but God will use it for our good and perhaps even for the good of many others. There is meaning in all suffering. And going back to the previous week's message we must actively remember the times in our past when God has brought good out of evil and know that He will do it again. Amen.

***podcasts of Preston Ridge Sermons are found here.

SMASHing Sermons

 SMASH: "for the moments and musings that stick"

At the end of "Making Crosses", my project for Lent, I stated that I wanted to find another project that would allow me to focus on God and use creativity on a regular basis. I found it!!

Every Sunday I take notes on our pastor's sermons in a small notebook for that purpose. I don't like the notebook because the spacing of the lines is weird and sometimes I use all the lines and pages (2 per sermon) and sometimes I don't. All that blank space bugs me. The notebook itself is very bland and not very exciting. Most people probably don't care if their notebook is exciting but as a lover of pens, paper, school supplies and The Container Store I want my notebook to be pretty!

Recently I went to Michael's Craft store to purchase some supplies for the third grade Sunday School class and I saw some wonderful notebooks called SMASH books. The idea for these is that you use them for projects. They have a pen with a marker on one end and a glue stick on the other attached to the notebook. That way the glue is always handy and you can easily glue things into your notebook as you find them. Examples of things people use these for: wedding planning, decorating or remodeling, a place to collect ideas for projects, a place to save favorite quotes and sayings and as a planner. Art journaling is very popular right now and this is a modified version of that. 

What I think is really cool about things like this is that I love to take something designed for a "normal" or secular purpose and use it for something spiritual. I bought a SMASH book! I am using it to paste in my sermon notes. I am then taking time during the week following the sermon to go back over the notes, look up the scriptures mentioned in the sermon and then create something decorative around the sermon notes and the scriptures. The SMASH purpose is to record "the moments and musing that stick". I want God's Word to "stick" to me!

I did the first sermon this week. Our pastor presents interesting and challenging sermons, ones that make you want to change something about yourself or to do something differently. Each sermon is based on scripture and is full of meaning. This week was the Mother's Day sermon. Mother's Day was so hectic for us this year. I had spent several days preparing to teach the third graders and teaching them just fills your head with kids. If you've ever taught children then you know what I mean. They are so funny and they talk so much. After I leave them I need time to let it all settle. This doesn't leave much room in my brain for reflection on the sermon. Since it was Mother's Day we rushed to Chipotle after church to eat lunch and then catch an afternoon movie (The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel - my Mother's Day present). Dean has work going on all the time and Parker has had AP tests so both wanted to get home and have time to do things in the evening. Anyway, life is always like this so I rarely take the time to go back over the sermon, even the ones that seem like they were written just for me.

This week I worked on the SMASH sermon pages several evenings which meant I thought about the Scriptures and the Sermons several times and let them sink in. I was very excited with how the pages came out. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can come up with for the next sermons. Below are pictures of the notebook and accessories. Yes! the notebook has it's own accessories! Sadly notebooks don't wear shoes, however there is an elastic band to go around it that holds extra pens, there are little flags and stickers, some striped paperclips with little flags on them, Smash pads which are for recording certain kinds of information like quotes or family events, and there are pockets. I did not purchase all the mentioned accessories. I need something to look forward to!

 SMASH notebook and glue/pen.

 I glued one of the pockets on the inside cover. I keep grid paper in the pocket to take sermon notes on. I also keep some of the pages from the small smash pad that I use to record the sermon's scriptures.                                                                                                                                                                 

 Some of the pages in the notebook are already "decorated" in some way. This is the first page of the yellow Smash notebook.

 This is the two page spread of the sermon and the scriptures. I pasted the sermon notes onto the left hand page and then later wrote the scriptures from the sermon on the smash pad pages and glued them on the right hand side.

 I stamped some butterflies onto watercolor paper and then painted them and cut them out. I then glued them onto the notebook page. Then I began tangling around the butterflies.

 In the Sermon our pastor, Gerald Griffin talked about what Moms do. They protect. He mentioned three ways Moms protect.
1. Moms protect by living the Word of God.
2. Moms protect by Living Their Faith
3. Moms protect by Modeling Service.

 

 The scriptures used in the sermon were: Psalm 103: 8-12, 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7, and 2 Timothy 3:16

 The quote card is from the "blank" smash pad. The tangle that looks like a zig zag is called Pea nuckle and it is new.

 .

 Some pages in the SMASH book are simple and some are pretty busy.

 Blank SMASH pad.

 Quotes SMASH pad.

 More pockets and pages.

This is the elastic band pen holder that goes around the notebook!

When I made the crosses for Lent sometimes I found myself more focused on the process of making the cross than on the MESSAGE of the cross (but not always). I think it will be the same with the SMASHing Sermons project. When I was stamping, painting and cutting out the butterflies, I was thinking about the butterflies. But when I was writing the scriptures on the SMASH pads, I was thinking about the scriptures and I was going back over the sermon notes. When you are blessed with really good teaching it is a shame to hear it on Sunday, talk over the particularly meaningful parts with your husband and family and then just sort of let it go. I don't want to let ANY of God's Word go.  I have mentioned my ladies Bible study and how much I get from studying God's word in depth. Those lessons stay with me. Maybe this will be a way for the truth of God's Word from Sunday's Sermons to also stay with me, SMASHed upon my heart. Happy Smashing!