46 Fireflies!

I concluded making crosses on the day before Easter. On that day I had crafted a total of 46 crosses since Ash Wednesday. I have mentioned before that our family have been members of churches of different denominations. Most of those denominations have not observed Lent. Not long after I first learned about Jesus and how God had sent His son to die for me, I was sitting in a Sunday School class in a Baptist church with other 7th and 8th graders. Our teacher suggested we give up something in the time leading up to Easter. This was an unusual suggestion for a Baptist Sunday School teacher to make. She explained that by giving up something we could more fully focus on the sacrifice of Christ. Ideally you would take the time you usually spent doing whatever it was you were giving up and you would read your Bible and pray. I remember struggling with which thing I should give up. The three that I struggled with the most as a 7th grader were giving up watching television, giving up talking with friends on the phone, or giving up drinking coke. And what is very strange is that I do not remember what I chose. Making the decision seemed to be the most difficult part because I couldn't imagine my teenage life without those things.

Since that time I have gone for years without doing anything special for Lent. But over the last few years I have either given up something or made a commitment to do something like read the Bible for an hour every day, etc. Making crosses has been the most meaningful of all the things I have done over the years. I think there are many reasons for this. I could not make a cross without thinking about Jesus and His sacrifice. Most of the crosses took time to plan and make which brought a greater level of devotion than I have given in the past. Making crosses involved community. By posting the crosses on Facebook each day I had the pleasure of sharing something very meaningful to me, in return many people were supportive and encouraging. One person often shared a verse in the comment section, several people commented that the cross reminded them of something. The firefly cross reminded my friend Susan S. of the lightening bugs from her past and that is exactly what they reminded me of. I was flooded with memories of running barefoot through the Saint Augustine grass and chasing lightening bugs, carrying my glass jar with holes punched in the lid. Later that night I would watch the lightening bugs in the jar before I went to sleep. My mom would then release the lightening bugs back into the night.

 Isaiah 28:16 “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone for a sure foundation; the one who trusts will never be dismayed.”

My dear friend Denise gave me a bag of buttons to use in making crosses. I made two crosses using her buttons. This experience reminded me and other Facebook friends of being children and playing in the button box or the button jar. I remember sitting on the floor amongst all the buttons, counting, sorting, letting them fall between my fingers. We (me, Denise and Shirley) were thankful in those memories for the kind of childhood that allowed time for creative play and for the leisure and joy of an abundance of buttons. 

Palm Sunday Cross

 As I drew closer to Easter I wanted to add more overt meaning to the crosses. Until this time I had let the crosses speak for themselves but in making the crosses I began to want to have a theme. For these crosses with the fish my theme was the feeding of the 5,000! I like to think that just from examples from my life alone that God has a sense of humor. I hope He thought my little fish were funny. I used a rubber stamp and then colored each little fish with Prismacolor markers.(John 6: 1-15 Jesus feeds 5,000!)

 Making crosses: day 42
His eye is on the sparrow...

 The yellow cross was very special because my friend, Tiffany, gave me the wooden cross that I painted yellow and then "aged". He father made the cross, he works with wood to make beautiful things. I was honored to have his lovely cross as a base for mine. I love the artist David Arms; many of his paintings have musical-bird themes that speak to some aspect of faith. His Eye is On the Sparrow is a beautiful hymn that I had someone sing at my mother's funeral. I wanted to make a cross that honored my mother, Tiffany's dad and the joy we have in knowing that His Eye Is On the Sparrow....and I know He watches me. 

In all the making of crosses I tried to stay away from secular themes. I wanted the crosses to be about Faith and not about any other things. I love to run and I had the thought of making a cross that celebrated the joy and the gift from God of running.  But when I do something that is for God, dedicated to Him I want to make sure that my own stuff doesn't get mixed up in it. It never felt right to make a cross centered around running even though running is a very spiritual experience for me. I did possibly dip into my own bias when I made the cross with the star. I found the star in a store and wanted to use it on a cross. I searched my yard for something weathered to make the cross out of and found two landscaping stakes in the back of the property. It was all coming together and then as I began to paint it --clearly it became a Texas themed cross. It is hard to suppress TEXAS! I did not want the cross to be just another symbol of Texas pride. I remembered that I was first drawn to the star and then I remembered the verse: "I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this testimony for the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the Bright Morning Star." Revelation 22:16 

This was my favorite cross of all the crosses. I painted the base cross, then found some tiny pictures in Dr. Stanley's InTouch Magazine. I cut them out, glued them in and then used gesso to cover them. You can't tell from the picture but I also sprayed on an iridescent paint that makes the whole thing shimmer. I mixed some paint to make some colors that would go along with the mood of the pictures. I outlined some of the detail of the pictures beneath the gesso. I glued on the words "through a glass darkly". This has always been one of my favorite verses. 

‎"We know in part and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away...For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face.(1 Cor.13: 9-10, 12 KJV)

 My friend Don Soula added the following verse in the comment section when I posted this cross on Facebook: ‎"They were on the road going up to Jerusalem, and Jesus was walking on ahead of them; and they were amazed, and those who followed were fearful. And again He took the twelve aside and began to tell them what was going to happen to Him, saying, “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered to the chief priests and the scribes; and they will condemn Him to death and will hand Him over to the Gentiles. They will mock Him and spit on Him, and scourge Him and kill Him, and three days later He will rise again." - Mark 10:32-34.

The interactive nature of the project, the comments, memories and encouragement of others added so much more to this experience than I would have found if I had made the crosses in my little office and they had never seen the light of day/internet. Sometimes I was afraid I was calling attention to myself, 'Look at me, I'm creative!", or "I'm spiritual!" but that is not what my heart felt. When I had doubts I thought about all the times I am encouraged when someone posts a Bible verse on Facebook. I am bombarded with shocking and disturbing images in music, books  on the internet, on television, on billboards, in stores, everywhere. I am always thankful for the glimpses of grace and for other believers who humbly share the Light.

This was my Facebook Post on the final day:  "Making Crosses: 46th and FINAL day! I just finished the last cross. I will post it tomorrow for Easter! I just want to say that the cross of the crucifixion was horrific. I have tried to make attractive crosses in recognition of the beautiful gift Christ has given me. Anyone who accepts Christ is given eternal life but also (if we let Him) He will make all the unlovely parts of us beautiful. "Therefore if anyone is in Christ , he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come." 2 Cor. 5:17"

 He is risen, just as He said!

I will be looking for a project like this one to do again. I am thankful to Janet Elmore and the Making Crosses book by Ellen Morris Prewitt for the inspiration to start this project. It has blessed me and I hope others. I most hope that the crosses have been like the little fireflies released into the night from their jar to shine a small light into the darkness.

 

Rolling Stones: conclusion

When I began the study of stones I had hoped to develop a comprehensive and all-inclusive idea of what all God intended with His literal and symbolic use of stones. This was perhaps a little too ambitious for my limited theological abilities. There are rock/stone verses that refer to so many different things.  

In Matthew 16:18 Jesus uses the word “rock” to talk about the church. Disagreement abounds over the meaning of “on this rock I will build my church”. Some think Jesus was referring to Peter. Some think (myself included) He was referring to faith in Christ, specifically in this instance Peter’s faith. Peter had just acknowledged for the first time that Jesus was Messiah, Christ, the son of the living God. Others think that the church is built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets (Ephesians 2:20, Rev. 21:14).  And some believe the rock refers to Christ’s teachings.

And as discussed in previous posts stones were used in very literal ways. These included stones used as memory markers, for stoning people, to build the temple, as landmarks, to build houses, to write the law upon, to build city walls, for weighing things. And finally tombs were cut out of stones and tombs were closed by them.

After Jesus was crucified Joseph of Arimathea took Jesus body, wrapped it in linen and (verse 6, Matthew 27) “placed it in his own new tomb that he had cut out of the rock. He rolled a big stone in front of the entrance to the tomb and went away.”

And then the moment the stone is rolled away:

 “There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said”. (Matthew 28: 2-6)

I do not know why God uses stones (literal and symbolic) in so many varied ways. His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. I do know that for me, the stones make the story real. I can picture the rock lying near Jacob’s head while he dreamed of the great stairway. Otherwise it is just a description of a dream, abstract and unfamiliar. I can picture the rocks stacked up as memory pillars beside the Jordan. I can see and almost touch the Ebenezer stone, the stone of help. If I were a builder I could describe the physics involved in the foundation of the building and perhaps I would have set a cornerstone with my own hands.

Nothing in the description of the empty tomb mirrors anything in my own experience, I have never been in an earthquake, I have never seen an angel. I have seen stones, large and small. I have climbed on stones that were so large and heavy that I could not move them. My mother was an amateur rock collector. She picked up rocks everywhere we went, most were ordinary, some were small, others quite large. She had no knowledge of geology and had no idea what she was picking up but she knew she liked them. I like them too.

Maybe God gives us the stones in His Word to give us something tangible (and understandable) to hold onto in the midst of the miraculous and unimaginable.

Because I am so familiar with rocks and stones, I can picture myself at the tomb of Jesus. I can imagine if the stone was still in front of the tomb that I might walk up and put my hands on the rock and place the side of my face against the cool surface of the stone thinking that inside lay my Savior, the one who died for me.

The good news is that if I could go back to that tomb I would not lay my face against the stone, it was rolled away! My Savior was not and is not inside.  He rose from the grave and He lives. Composer Frances Crosby says it this way:

Christ is risen! Hallelujah! 

Gladness fills the world today;

From the tomb that could not hold Him,

See, the stone is rolled away!

Christ hath risen! Hallelujah!

Friends of Jesus, dry your tears;

Through the veil of gloom and darkness,

Lo, the Son of God appears!

Christ hath risen! Hallelujah!

He hath risen, as he said;

He is now the king of glory,

And our great exalted Head. 

May I go forth and be a Rolling Stone, a stone that is rolled away from my sinful inclinations to reveal the strength and majesty of Jesus Christ!

Raising Up My Ebenezer

Scrooge in Scripture?

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 As I continue my topical study of stones in the Bible I was delighted to come across a reference I remember from the past: A stone set up by Samuel called "Ebenezer". I have no trouble remembering this reference because I always think of Ebenezer Scrooge but I can never remember what Ebenezer means. What happens in my brain that such an outstanding Dickensian image can be retained as well as the entire plot line for A Christmas Carol, yet no matter home many times I look this up...I cannot remember what Ebenezer means. I can also remember obscure song lyrics but have no idea where I left my glasses. 


Once and for all (I’m being optimistic), here is the explanation. As we have discussed, stones in the Bible can represent Memory Pillars. They can be set up to remember a vow we have made as in the case of Jacob or in the Ebenezer example, set up to commemorate the occasion of God’s provision of victory in battle.

 

Twenty years have passed since the ark of the covenant had been taken to Kiriath-jearim (1 Samuel 7:2). Apparently some of the Israelites had begun to worship other gods.  Samuel told the Israelites to dedicate themselves to the Lord and worship only the Lord. He promised that if they did this then God would rescue the Israelites from the dreaded Philistines. The Israelites removed the Baals and other things and only worhsipped the Lord.

 

While the Israelites were meeting in Mizpah the Philistines marched toward them to overtake them. The Israelites asked Samuel to continue and to not stop crying out to God on their behalf. Samuel offered a burnt offering to the Lord for them.

 

Verse 10 says (and I love this part) “The Lord thundered loudly against the Philistines that day and threw them into such confusion that they fled before Israel.” I have a list of people I would like the Lord to thunder loudly against! I should be careful, I might be on someone’s list as well. The men of Israel pursued the Philistines and struck them down.

“Samuel took a stone and set it upright between Mizpah and Shem. He named it Ebenezer explaining, “The Lord has helped us to this point”. (1 Samuel 7;12).

 

So here is the part where I look up the meaning of Ebenezer once again, (this information was gathered here.

The word "Ebenezer" comes from Hebrew and is actually two words pronounced together: Even Haazer. Written in Hebrew it looks like this:

It is usually transliterated as a proper name by dropping the definite article (Ha) from the Hebrew word for "help" (Ezer) and putting it together with the Hebrew word for "stone" (Even) to create: "Ebenezer." The etymological roots of the word, thus defined, should demonstrate that an "Ebenezer" is, literally, a "Stone of Help."...Literally speaking, an Ebenezer is a "stone of help," or a reminder of God’s Real, Holy Presence and Divine aid.

Hebrew word for “help” is Ezer.  Hebrew word for “stone” is Even. Stone of Help. Unfortunately, Hebrew and Greek are so unfamiliar to me that I cannot form word associations for them. If it were Latin then I might be able to picture the word or relate it to my very limited Spanish vocabulary. ‘Help’ doesn’t look like EZER. ‘Stone’ doesn’t look like EVEN or EBEN. 

 

I am trying those memory tricks (as I type this) where you make up a picture in your mind with all the words you are supposed to remember on a table with objects that remind you of the words. Hmm. Samuel (who is dressed as Scrooge), let’s call him Ebenezer Samuel, is standing behind a table. There are dead Philistines lying on the ground behind him (you can tell they are Philistines because they have the letter “P” on their tunics). Ebenezer Samuel places a big rock on the table, written on the big rock is EVEN (this doesn’t really help because the word is Ebenezer not Evenezer). Next, God thunders (because I like that part of the story)- that can be a lightening bolt in our picture. Across the lightening bolt is written EZER in bright red superman letters. It could be that I’m not very good at this word picture memory thing. 

 It could be that when I next sing, “Come thou fount of every blessing” and come to the second verse, "Here I raise mine Ebenezer; hither by thy help I’m come..." that I will continue to have no idea what I’m singing and will yet again have to look it up. The author of the helpful information quoted previously, Dr. Gregory S. Neal, commented in his article that every time he sings that hymn he “cannot shake the mental image of someone holding up Ebenezer Scrooge.” 
 

Regardless of the unintended whimsy of this reference, it brings up a good point. An Ebenezer stone was the stone set up by Samuel to remember and honor the help God had given the Israelites. The Word of God is my Ebenezer. I am so fortunate to have God’s word, written in so many easily understood translations to remind me that God has helped me in the best way possible. He has provided eternal salvation for me through the sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ. Dr. Neal said in his article:

“ an Ebenezer can be nearly anything that reminds us of God’s presence and help: the Bible, the Sacramental Elements, a cross, a picture, a fellow believer, a hymn – those things which serve as reminders of God’s love, God’s Real Presence, and God’s assistance are "Ebenezers."

In a general sense that may be true but it seems that God deliberately gave us The Word, His Son, The Cornerstone to be our everlasting Ebenezer, the rock who helps. I am probably getting ahead of myself by including the cornerstone before actually reading all the verses on stones. However, these are the verses I was thinking of, verses about Jesus as the Word and a precious cornerstone:

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

In the beginning was the Word, and Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with god in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. John 1: 1-5

Therefore the Lord said: “Look, I have laid a stone in Zion, a tested stone, a precious cornerstone, a sure foundation; the one who believes will be unshakable. Isaiah 28:16

 

Sometimes in our rush to application I think we can get too general, maybe sometimes God is more specific than we think. Maybe anything CAN be an Ebenezer, maybe not. Either way it is safe to say that Jesus is our rock, our salvation, a tested cornerstone and He is our Ebenezer, our stone of help.

No Stone Unturned (almost)

Picture taken in Carmel, CA July 2011, these are not stones I would want to touch much less turn over! Birds are fascinating, bird poop, not so much.

In the first installment of my topical study of stones in the Bible I optimistically and perhaps in a cavalier manner stated that I would leave "no stone unturned" implying that I would look up every reference to stones in the Bible. Well...I may actually leave at least a few categories of stones unturned.

In Rick Warren's Bible Study Methods, Twelve Ways You Can Unlock God's Word, Warren says, "Be thorough. As far as possible, find and study every verse that relates to the topic. The only way to know everything God has said on a topic is to go through the entire Bible and find all the passages on that topic." Hmm. According to Zondervan NIV, Nave's Topical Bible there are about 58 separate references (more verses) on the literal use of stones. There are about 21 verses on the figurative and symbolic use of stones.

There are additional references for precious stones and also many, many references for stones used for stoning people. For this reason, and I hope Rick Warren won't mind, I will limit my study to the literal, figurative and symbolic stones and will omit the precious stones and stones used for stoning people. My study will include stones used for building, stones used for remembering events, stones that can cause someone to stumble and stones that in some way describe Christ or the Spirit.

This week I was particularly "struck" (no pun intended) by the stones that are used to mark occasions that are to be remembered, the topical Bible calls them Memory Pillars. In Genesis 28:18-22 Jacob took the stone that had been near his head while he slept and dreamed and set it up as a marker. He poured oil on top of it and named the place Bethel. Jacob then made a vow that if God would protect him on this journey and would bring him back safely then the Lord would be Jacob's God. God has just given Jacob a dream of the stairway with angels walking up and down from earth to heaven. God has  promised in the dream to give Jacob the land he has been sleeping on. Initially the vow sounded to me like second guessing God and also, are we allowed to make these kinds of deals with God? The New Bible Commentary* says that "as long as the votary
 performs his vow, the Old Testament does not discourage them...Vows are not necessarily bargaining with God, rather they can express our dependence on him. Nor was Jacob's vow here an expression of unbelief in the promises just made to him, for all petitionary prayer is based on God's promises to provide for our needs (Mt. 6:11 with 6:25-34)".  I really like it when the commentary actually answers the questions that I have!!

Many of my prayers lately have been based on God's promises to provide. Jesus told us to pray: "Give us this day our daily bread..." I am so tempted to pray for tomorrow's bread and next month's bread. And I want to see tangible results. Jacob wanted more than just his extraordinary dream. He wanted something in the waking world to signify God's promise and provision. He took the rock that had been beside his head during that remarkable dream and he poured oil over it. I tried to think of how I could pour oil over my requests before God. I've been in a church service where we wrote our prayer requests on a piece of paper and then walked up to the altar and put them up on a wall. I've heard of people writing sins on a piece of paper and then burning the paper to symbolize the confession and turning from the sin. We as people seem to need something we can touch, see, read or hold, something tangible. My desire is that God's Word, His promises would become as real to me as the stone by Jacob's head was to him, that Jesus and His saving grace would be such a big stone of faith that nothing could move it. I hope that by meditating on God's Word and His promises it will be as if I were pouring oil over my little stone of faith. May my stone of faith grow larger every day and be so real that I can reach out and touch it.


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*I will take a moment to express my thoughts on commentaries. I like them! For those of us without formal theological training and with limited time they can be a great tool. I do not think commentaries can be substituted for scripture, nor do they carry the weight of scripture, nor are they definitive. They are a tool. Sometimes when I read scriptures that confuse me I will ask God to help me understand the difficult passage in the way He intended it. I will ask for wisdom. Sometimes I will get a new insight or suddenly see the passage in a new way but sometimes I simply do not have the knowledge (culture of the time, Greek language, Hebrew language) to get the true picture. At those times I benefit from the writings and knowledge of others; always remembering that the words of others (even brilliant scholars) are not scripture. One of the questions I always ask when reading what someone else has written about the Bible is: "Does this make sense with regard to other things that the Bible says?, Is it consistent with what I already know about God and His character from the Bible?".

One Thing Leads to Another - again and again!

stones from our flower bed, this is better than the smoothie picture!

Today, two different projects came together to lead me to a third and really my 6 mile run sealed the deal! I am about 6 days behind in my goal to Read The Bible in a Year. I've mentioned before I am reading chronologically through the bible on You Version. Currently I am in Joshua. I am also in the middle of my project of making crosses. My goal is to make a cross every day leading up to Easter. Today was day 20 of making crosses!

While I was reading in Joshua today I noticed that "Stones" came up quite often in these few chapters and for different reasons. First, the stones were used as memorial markers to remember that the Lord had dried up the waters of the Jordan so that the Israelites crossed on dry ground.

Joshua 4:20-24

Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

²⁰ Then Joshua set up in Gilgal the 12 stones they had taken from the Jordan, ²¹ and he said to the Israelites, “In the future, when your children ask their fathers, ‘What is the meaning of these stones?’ ²² you should tell your children, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ ²³ For the LORD your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed over, just as the LORD your God did to the Red Sea, which He dried up before us until we had crossed over. ²⁴ This is so that all the people of the earth may know that the LORD’s hand is mighty, and so that you may always fear the LORD your God.”

Next I read about Achan. Achan kept for himself some treasures that he coveted from the spoils that had been taken at the fall of Jericho. He buried these things in the ground in his tent. Joshua confronted Achan who admitted his crimes. Achan was stoned to death and they raised a pile of rocks over his burned body.

 ²⁵ Joshua said, “Why have you troubled us? Today the LORD will trouble you!” So all Israel stoned them^[a] to death. They burned their bodies,^[b] threw stones on them, ²⁶ and raised over him a large pile of rocks that remains to this day. Then the LORD turned from His burning anger. Therefore that place is called the Valley of Achor^[c] to this day.

And it was when I next read of an altar being built of uncut stones that I began to wonder about the pattern.  

 

³⁰ At that time Joshua built an altar on Mount Ebal to the LORD, the God of Israel, ³¹ just as Moses the LORD’s servant had commanded the Israelites. He built it according to what is written in the book of the law of Moses: an altar of uncut stones on which no iron tool has been used. Then they offered burnt offerings to the LORD and sacrificed fellowship offerings on it. ³² There on the stones, Joshua copied the law of Moses, which he had written in the presence of the Israelites. 

I began to wonder about the corner stone and all the references to the Lord as our rock. This has been in the back of my mind since my friend Denise brought it up with regard to one of my earlier crosses.

This led me to make a cross today that involved stones. The cross did not turn out as I had seen it in my mind's eye. After making the cross I decided to run 6 miles. I often think and pray while running or sometimes I just zone out. About half-way through the run I thought I should do a word study on stones. God is the ultimate creator. He creates in ways we do not understand and hidden in His word are images that mean more than we know unless we take the time to follow them throughout scripture. So reading the bible in a year led to making a cross which led to doing a word study on stones.  One thing leads to another.

So far I have looked up verses about the ten commandments written on stones. The standout here is when the Bible says that they were "stone tablets inscribed by the finger of God".  The tablets were broken by Moses and God gave them to him again.

Joshua later renewed the covenant and he copied the laws of Moses on an altar of uncut stones. I have read about houses (in the Bible) made of stone and I finished today by beginning the verses about the stones used to build the Temple. I am not halfway through the verses for the literal stones- once I look up those I will begin the verses that talk about figurative stones. I am excited to get the big picture.  I will leave no stone unturned! ha ha.  

Humility: If I Ignore It, Maybe It Will Go Away

"Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." - Mark 10:43-45

I was reading about the discipline of humility and how this discipline helps us to be humble by dwelling on what Christ was willing to do for us. I cannot imagine leaving behind glorious heaven to come to earth for 30 plus years, becoming a servant, a sacrifice, a stand-in for sin. I become unhappy if I have to wait in line at Michael's or Walmart. I am put out if I have to make an extra trip out to pick up something forgotten. While I may enjoy sending a card to a friend or making bread for someone who has been sick, I balk at any real notion of service. Something that would require a significant sacrifice of time or effort terrifies me. And even on occasion when I muster the will to volunteer for something outside myself, though it seems to be a huge task for me it is really nothing compared to the self-less life and sacrificial death of Jesus.

The gap between Jesus and me is so large that it prohibits almost entirely any ability on my part to truly grasp what He did for me and what it may have meant for Him in terms of sacrifice. We had a dog named Zoe who when confronted with something she knew we did not want her to have, to eat, or to attack (like the cat, our dinner, or one of the hamsters), would turn her head and refuse to look at the forbidden fruit. You could hold the disgruntled kitty right up to her nose and she would forcefully turn her head as far away as she could and refuse to see the cat. It simply did not exist to her as long as we were watching. Who knows what or who she would have eaten if we were not present. I am like Zoe, I pretend things do not exist, not things that I'm not supposed to have but things that I financially cannot have or intellectually cannot grasp. I was able to "do" math up to the level of pre-calculus. I needed much help and encouragement from my husband Dean to get that far but I made it through. However, toward the end of my class in pre-calculus I caught a glimpse of what lay ahead. I can tell you that math beyond pre-calculus exceeds my intellectual ability and for the most part I pretend it doesn't exist. I don't like to think there is anything out there that I can't understand given enough time and a patient tutor but the fact is there are many things out there that are beyond me. For the most part I refuse to acknowledge them!

(pictures of one of the hamsters Zoe was not permitted to eat!)

I take the same approach to many things including extreme wealth. I am not likely to ever be extremely wealthy and so I don't spend time thinking about what it would be like to live that lifestyle. Why dwell on what I cannot have or do? In this case it would do me well to remember that compared to most people in the world I am rich beyond measure and even here where I live, in Lexus-Land I am rich in blessings and provision. The point is that I approach overcoming the extreme discrepancy between Christ and myself as something so impossible, so much like learning calculus or astrophysics or as improbable as living the lifestyle of the rich and famous that I do not dwell on it, I ignore it and miss the opportunity for change.

When I am forced during sermons or study to see the great sacrifice and fully realize the weight of all that Christ has done for me I do experience humility. But it doesn't last long. I return to my world with my false sense of control and my own importance. How then, to remember, how to fully realize, how to carry the knowledge of the humility of Christ on my behalf into my everyday life; that is my dilemma.

I think the key may be to incrementally meditate on those scriptures pertaining to the life of Christ, taking in small pieces of His life and letting them sink in little by little. I will never be like Christ on this earth but I am called to follow His example, not turn away from it because it is so far beyond what I can imagine in myself. By meditation on scripture, through the power of the Holy Spirit, with faith in Christ, giving thanks to God, I can "renew my mind" and move toward becoming the "new creature" I want to be. Perhaps like Zoe, I may still turn my head but instead of not looking at all, I can "see" with my peripheral vision the great love that Jesus has for me and then slowly "see" more and more in the safety of that love.

With regard to material excess or theoretical physics it's probably OK, perhaps beneficial to my self-esteem, to pretend they don't exist, but to ignore the overwhelming sacrifice of Christ is to deny what He has done for me. Grabbing hold of my running motto I must "Be strong, Be brave" and journey on to the point where I can look full on at the Cross.

About Projects

I am not a naturally motivated or busy person. Left to my own devices I could happily sit on my couch all through the winter watching episodes of Downton Abbey, NCIS and The Big Bang Theory, holding a Harry Potter/Pirates of the Caribean/Lord of The Rings marathon and reading magazines, mysteries and biographies all the while fueling my slugdom with Oreos and Pizza. If only.

If only I wouldn't gain 50 pounds doing that, if only I wouldn't miss interactions with the family and friends who wouldn't or couldn't join me on the couch, if only I didn't secretly want to be a productive member of society, at least a little.

One of the reasons for beginning this blog is because I hoped the scrutiny (real or imagined) of a well-documented life would inspire me to live a more balanced and possibly a more active, creative and thoughtful life.

I am one of those annoying people who loves themes. It is difficult to move the glee of a perfectly themed and executed children's party or room decoration into an adult life unless you are a professional party planner. So instead of dinosaur themed errands and to-do lists, I have Goals and Projects! To incorporate my love of themes I develop small obsessions with things like dragons or owls and I think about these obsessions as I go about accomplishing my Goals and Projects. One of the projects I have begun for this year is to read the Bible through chronologically in a year; documenting my progress at youversion.com . So far so good. I am only behind two days. They have a "catch me up" feature but then they extend your finish date so that you haven't really read the Bible in a year!! I ignore the "catch me up" feature.

Each year I decide to be healthier in some way, to run more, eat less, eat more vegetables, etc. I have been struggling with that goal this year, leading me to devise a new project. Runner's World issued a challenge to their readers to run every day for at least one mile between Thanksgiving and New Years. Many more organized runners than myself signed up and completed this challenge. I was intrigued and if it had not been during the holidays when I cannot imagine adding one more thing to do, I would have signed on. During the dreary and gray days of January and February I still have plenty to do but lack the umph to do any more than what is absolutely required. Thus, my new project!

Day 1 of 30 days of running!

For the next 30 days I will run every day. Some days will only be a mile but hopefully other days will be many, many more miles and my weekly mileage will get a big boost! This should also cut down on the number of hours spent in slugdom as well as the number of Double Stuff Oreos I consume! Happy Running!

Rabbit trails

People my age have a love/hate relationship with computers and the Internet and perhaps with technology in general. I work at keeping an open mind to new apps, new websites, new ways to do things, but initially I always resist.

I am on FB, I have joined Pinterest, You Version and Goodreads, I have an IPhone and a Kindle, I’ve played Farm Town, angry birds, and Words with Friends! I do not Tweet.

I appreciate so many things about technology especially the quick access to so much diverse information. I Google everything that sparks my curiosity. Which brings me to my topic: while having fast access to information seems wonderful it often IS NOT. And by that I mean it, not only IS NOT wonderful it often IS NOT even FAST.

Teaching a concept always involves facts. I was making a bulletin board for third graders illustrating the concepts that we all have fear and God can help us with our fears.  I vaguely remembered hearing that the phrase “Fear not” or “Do not fear” appeared in the Bible some extraordinary number of times. I decided to Google it. One source stated that in a movie called “Facing the Giants” a claim is made that “fear not” appears in the Bible 365 times. I had never heard of “Facing the Giants” so I Googled it. Wikipedia says that “Facing the Giants” is an “American Christian drama film” but it did not say anything about how many times “fear not” appears in the bible. I also learned that a Casting Crowns song that I like, “Voice of Truth” appears to be part of the soundtrack of the movie. I like that song and was tempted to Google it to see why Casting Crowns chose to be apart of the not very successful film, if the song was commissioned for the film or just added later, etc…but this would have been going way off down the rabbit trail.

Back to the story…someone on one of those sites where you ask a question and everyone gives an answer, (most often an answer not supported by anything) reported they had just heard in a sermon that it appeared 365 times. The problem with this is that the pastor who delivered that sermon could have gotten his information from the movie (American Christian drama film).

Another posting person said that in the KJV “fear not” appears 74 times, “be not afraid” appears 29 times; in the NASB there are 4 “fear not’s”, 57 “do not fears” and 46 “do not be afraid's”, these do not add up to 365.

Someone used Bible Gateway to find over 100 references using NAB, these included “Do not fear” and “Do not be afraid”.

The Gateway Life Group Blog says it appears 365 times. No explanation.

Whole Person Counseling listed 40 verses but referred to them as "a sampling”.

Let’s move on, new area of interest. Ant strength. I read in a book that ants can lift objects that weigh several times their weight because of their special body structure called an exoskeleton. Again, I planned to mention this to the ever inquisitive third-graders so I Googled 'ant exoskeletons and strength'. 

This search, which I worded several different ways, yielded these results: ants can lift 10 times their weight, ants can lift 20 times their weight, ants can lift 50 times their weight. ScienceIQ.com and About.com said this is due to their size and not to the exoskeleton. There were several sites that seemed angry that anyone would think an ant was proportionally stronger than a human being. We are a sensitive people. They point out that if you make things bigger the muscles do not get proportionally stronger. If an ant were the size of a human then you would essentially have a big giant blob of an ant that could not even move much less lift anything. There were illustrations of cubes and tubes and there were math equations that were beyond me but basically bigger isn’t better with regard to strength and we should not feel badly that the ant has a clear advantage due to his tiny size. Hmmm, ant might disagree, there was also something about the ant having a proportionally larger brain than most animals but again I resisted that rabbit trail.

Gary T on the Straight Dope message board supported the info in the book, “The main factor in an ant’s strength is that it has an exoskeleton". After reading many opinions and some derogatory remarks about Gary T’s opinion, I noticed that in a later post Gary T was kind enough to provide some websites to support his claim.

This is a common occurrence on message boards. Several people will state unsubstantiated opinions. For reason unknown, one person is chosen and everyone else piles on with how wrong they are. At least one of these people will provide some kind of documentation for their rebuttal. The person who has been challenged must then search the internet for proof of his or her opinion. They almost never just let it go.

Unfortunately, in the case of Gary T’s evidential proofs, two of the websites were tied to universities and could not be accessed via the links he provided. One was a faculty page and would probably have been fascinating had it been available. The other two sites he provided were descriptive of the exoskeleton and said that the exoskeleton was strong but did not directly attribute the exoskeleton to the ants ability to lift objects that are many times heavier than it’s own body.

I think the point of this lengthy description of my journey through the web is that the Internet is often not a time saver. There are reasons why I am slow to become involved with a new app, a new technology and for that matter new people…it’s all very time consuming and may not ever lead to a satisfying conclusion.