The Quiet Kelly

Recently I read two books about hiking. The first book was about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail.The most recent, completed yesterday, was Bill Bryson's, A Walk in the Woods about hiking the Appalachian Trail. These were bookends of a sort, books about wilderness on opposite sides of our country. And in between those two books I read Wilderness Time by Emilie Griffin. Wilderness Time is not a book about hiking, it is about a different kind of Wilderness experience. This from the back cover of the book: "Time in 'the wilderness'-solitary meditation on simplicity, prayer, and other key disciplines of faith- is directly in keeping with Jesus' example of going apart to pray."

Each of the hiking books included that element of going away in order find something, and while each hiker found something to me they missed the big picture. They explored in minute detail every inch of the rugged, sometimes almost impassable trails they hiked without ever meeting the Creator of those trails.

In our every day lives we too often fail to meet the Creator. Wilderness Time is about making a space in your life that allows you to hear God without the competing noise of technology, busyness and day to day responsibilities.

Griffin points us to Jesus as our example for drawing away to be with God. In Mark 1:35-37: In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed." In Mark 6:45-46: Immediately he made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After saying farewell to them, he went up onto the mountain to pray."  This occurred after He had fed the 5000.

Again in Luke 5:15-16: "But now more than ever the word about Jesus spread abroad; many crowds would gather to hear him and be cured of their diseases. But he would withdraw to deserted places and pray".

Some may wonder why a specific time away is needed or if there must be a specific reason for the retreat. Griffin responds: "In fact, no more reason is needed that that your heart longs for greater closeness with God- because you are worn out by many annoyances and worries, and you are seeking the refreshment of God's presence; because you need rest from the anxieties of ordinary living, even from the legitimate responsibilities imposed by family, work, and church; because you want to follow the example of Jesus in going apart to pray."

I could so easily relate to Griffin's revelation that "certain ingrained attitudes affect us inwardly. Such negative patterns of thought and feeling may defeat us again and again". While the world, or maybe it's better to say THE WORLD often gets me down what most discourages me are the perpetual habits and personality disasters that plague my life despite my best efforts to change them. Griffin says: "We need to invite the power of God to transform us and release us from unhealthy, limiting habits...Going on retreat is really a kind of self-gift, showing the willingness to be healed and transformed. This attitude of desire for the life of God for greater depth of understanding and abundance of heart, is pivotal to the healing of personality."

Griffin discusses several disciplines that help us connect with God on retreat: prayer, fasting, meditation, and study. One thing to note is that fasting does not have be about food. "Fasting from people, from excessive talk and jabber, from an overload of local and world news, from addictive telephone calls: all these are forms of fasting that can heal and restore our souls", writes Griffin.

Though there is discipline involved in retreat there is also serendipity and surrender. "While we ourselves may enter the retreat preoccupied with a given subject, The Lord may use the retreat to  lead us in another direction. We should be open to these promptings, remembering that we are not in charge of the retreat. Everything is in god's hands." Also, there should be no pressure to perform or achieve on the retreat: "Expectations should be neither low nor high, but instead, the work of the retreat should be left in God's hands." As in all of life, God is in control.

One favorite observation by Griffin concerns the definition of solitude: "Solitude is, after all, not a condition of being by youreself but a discipline of attentiveness to God."

I deliberately chose this book to read between the two hiking adventure books. Shortly Dean and I will embark on our own spiritual retreat. Coincidentally, if there is such a thing, I learned on Sunday that my pastor is taking a four week sabbatical that will include a Mount Fuji adventure. I think the extended time away and the experience and challenge of exploring Mt. Fuji will provide the perfect conditions for attentiveness to God. Our modest retreat will include 4 days at a quiet house and daily running on a new-to-us trail. I will take Griffin's book and her advice to keep my expectations neutral and to allow God to speak to us as He will, to say what He will and to lead where He will. Griffin says: "Fed by the sunlight of God's love, the soul works unselfconsciously toward wholeness. Spirit and soul, we flower in the light of God."  I want to flower.